Why I Quit Dancing?

This was kind of difficult for me to write but I decided to do it so I can get passed it and start anew. If you want to know more about my dance past before reading this one please head over to this post. So the question is, why did I quit dancing?

I quit because I moved. A very simple answer, yes. Well, it's kind of not that simple. I didn't move to a new town nor a new state. I moved countries and for a 15 year old girl that is very difficult. I had to move from the US to the Philippines with my mother's family I didn't really know. My parents were to follow but you can see how difficult it was to be in a whole new country which is like a whole new world. Plus my parent's were moving our stuff so that meant I didn't see them for 3 years. You could see how I didn't want to get back into dance.

I found a studio close to my house and that was the only one that was semi-close to our house. I went to check it out but when I got there it was tiny. They're were hardly any dancers and no tap classes. I offered to help out but they said they didn't need any. I was discouraged because for most of my life dance was the most important thing I loved.

I decided to give up all together and just deal with it. I wanted to dance in my spare time but I didn't have the will anymore. I let myself go and started to eat away my sadness which was all I could do. I gained a lot of weight and then lost some and then gained some. This made it more impossible for me to get back into dance.

During our art class my freshman year of college, we had to go to a play. I hated plays but when I found out it was the Peter Pan Ballet that was being put on by the country's national ballet company I kind of got excited. When I went I cried and not because it was a bad or a sad performance but it was because I missed being on stage. I wasn't there to perform, I was there as an audience member and that hurt me. I missed everything about dancing and it lingered on my mind for a while. When I got home I searched this ballet company and found out they had a dance school too but the fees were far to expensive for a college student budget and my dad didn't want to pay for the transportation since it was out in the city and I lived 2 hours away in the country. I got a little more discouraged again.

When I was in my third year of college we had to go see another ballet with the same ballet company. It was a requirement since we were studying Shakespeare and they were putting on a ballet about A Midsummer's Night Dream. I wanted to go but yet again I knew I would feel sad but I went and I enjoyed it as always.

I finished my third year and all my classmates were talking about internships and I still hadn't found one. I decided to email the ballet company and asked if they had internships but I didn't get a reply. I thought I should go out and found a new internship but as soon as I was going to accept an interview with a magazine I got an email saying they would love to have me intern for them. The ballet company wanted me and I was so happy. I will post more about this story in another post talking about my internship with them as soon as I finish it.

That internship made me want to get into dancing again and to end this sad story, I am planning on taking some ballet classes with them. That is why I wanted to start a dance blog is to share my experience with fellow dancers.

I regret stopping and I wish I could have found out sooner about this ballet company but I guess it was just planned. I quit for 5 years. I stopped at 15 and I am hoping I can start again and keep going. Those 5 years I was lost and I didn't do anything dance related unless it was for school but when I did that it wasn't like ballet or tap, some of it was modern dance that I didn't get fond of. I just wish I hadn't wasted 5 years but I can't go back now and I am learning to deal with it and move forward.

My advice to dancers who feel like they want to quit or have quit dancing. Please DON'T. You might regret it to and just get on by if you really enjoy what you are doing like I did. If you already quit and are planning on getting back then DO IT. I think if you miss it that much it will make you want to come back and you will feel amazing about it.

That was my story of why I quit dancing and I am glad I got it out and I feel 100x better. I hope you enjoyed my story and I hope I inspire anyone to not quit what you love doing.

*weheartit

xo
Jackie